You are not alone ...

The other day I came across a heartbreaking story about a teenager called Amanda Todd - a 15 year old Canadian girl who was brutally bulled, posted a video about her story on Youtube then sadly committed suicide just two weeks later. For me, this video was a huge blast from the past, a reminder of the downward spiral of decline that bullies send you in - in which you hit rock bottom, and most off all, it was a reminder of a time that will forever scar my life. For anyone that has been bullied you will know exactly what I am on about but for those of you who haven't you will never truly be able to understand the deep effects of what a person being bullied is going through - to the outside it might seem like just name-calling or being laughed at but believe me in the inside it is so much more...

Throughout my teens I was constantly bullied, it started around the age of 13 and by the time I was 15 it had progressively got worse. Name-calling, being laughed at, items of my clothing stolen, being threatened to get beat up, telling me to go and die etc... you get the picture. Having to go school and face this daily occurrence was like a jail sentence for me, don't get me wrong I was by no means a loner - no - to many people they would think I had loads of friends, hanging around with the so-called "popular crowd" and what not,  but what they didn't know was being a loner would have made my life so much easier than to hang around with these people as these people weren't my friends - they were my bullies.

I will always remember the break times - I was their highlight, their person of target to sit their and make fun off - Their favourite laugh was sitting there pretending to play musical instruments whilst hysterically laughing and shouting "hahhaah Laura plays the piano!" ( I played the piano and flute you see). I would sit there and try and crack a smile to laugh it off but deep inside I was just wanting to shrivel up and die.

Home time could never come quick enough, I would run home and bury my head in my pillows, relieved that I had got through the day but crying my eyes out with pain. The bullying did not stop at home - MSN was a big social media impact on society at this time - I would go on line to speak to the few friends I had but to yet still having the bullies pop up threatening me to not come school else I would get my head flushed down the loo...

I remember feeling the pain - hating life, wanting it to end, wanting to die, feeling lonely, feeling trapped, thinking "does life ever get any better than this"?
For a bullying victim that is normal and I could sit here all day writing about things that happened to me and things that people said but there is no need for that now, because I have moved on and I want to tell you that things will get better.

If you are being bullied and reading this then please don't give up thinking that there is a happier place in life that you will get to because there is, you just haven't found it yet but I am going to help you find it... first of all please read my post about things will get better ...

I want you to think of your dreams, your aspirations, your goals in life, what you want to succeed, who you want to be - Write these down and pin them up - this is your focus because there is going to be a day when you can tick these all off - This is what  I did and no matter how many times I wanted to give up, wanted an easier way out - I didn't because I had these insight. When you are feeling down look at these and know that you CAN fulfil these dreams, there will be a day that you can look back at your bullies and laugh because you are in a much better place in life than they are!
Is has took me a few years to finally get to a happy place in my life and although mentally you will always be effected i.e your self confidence you can eventually beat the bullies and get to that happy place in life. There will always be times when you will still feel down in life but think about how far you have come and what you do have that you didn't.
I want you all to know that you are all beautiful unique talented individuals, everyone is different, everyone has an imperfection but imperfection is beauty. I want to give a big hug to everyone who is being bullied at the moment, I feel your pain but please don't give up - smile and keep going :-) I am here for each and every one of you and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, some words of advice/help then please don't hesitate to contact me!!
>>Together we can beat the bullies! <<
Hope you are all having a lovely day,
Lots of love,

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