Things do get better...

Today I have been in such a relfective mood about how far I have come in life so far. I found my old memory box stashed away collecting dust high in my cupboards....which contains all things that at some point in my life had a special meaning and a firm place in my heart. So this post isn't going to consist of my typical hair, beauty and fashion related banter... It is something with a bit more substance, more meaningful and if you have ever been through this then you will most proberly be able to relate with me in some way or another. However if you are on the other side of the spectrum and you are currently going through any of these issues then do not worry because I am here for you if you need me. So please don't hesitate to contact me. By the end of this post I want people to be able to realise and know that time is a healer...and things really do get better...

Memories are something that will stay with you until the moment you die. Some will be amazing and others will be one's that you long to forget but in reality you never will forget them... Just like I wont forget my high school years and college years. Most people say that being at school is the best time of your life. Well I can vouch that for me, they were the worst.

At high school I got badly bullied. The usual stuff really, name calling, intimidation, threats, being laughed at, I was at the stem of vicious attacks. Things that could crush and ruin a person, wiping my little confidence I had and leaving me feeling scared, insecure and powerless. I remember finding myself crying my eyes out raw every night, dreading each day of school and worst of all I remember wanting an easy way out of life, I just wanted it to be over. I remember looking at packets of paracetomol thinking " if I take the whole pack...then everything will be over - no more pain". Cause as far as I could see it nothing could ever get worser than it was and nothing could ever get better. I had no friends, I was ugly, I wasn't good at anything and there was nothing motivating me to live anymore. I read this back write now and thank the little man I use to hear in my head saying " don't give up, things will get better" because if it wasn't for him then theres a good chance I might not be here today writing this post.

People often ask me how I got through these two awful years of my life, and this is what I will tell you and advise you to do :

 1. You firstly need to establish who these people are... take a good look at them - who are these people. Are they beautiful? Do they have inspiring ambitions? Are they majorly talented? Are they inspirational people? Are they good people? ...

I have a good feeling you will be able to answer no for either most or all of these and thats because these people are losers. Unlike me who was full of dreams, ambition and wanted to be successful in life, they didn't care in the slightest. They were failing their GCSE's, shagging the whole of the school, catching STI's and sitting on the park taking drugs and getting drunk til they passed out.

2. You need to find a person you can trust and speak to - believe me I was in a world where I thought I had no one but I can assure you there will always be that one person that cares for you out there. Whether its a parent, a career, a teacher, a social worker...believe me there will be someone so please find them. You need to be able to let your heart and soul out to them because they will be your rock at this time. Although the bullying isn't going to dissapear having someone to talk to and comfort you is a start.

3. Find a goal. Find a driving force. Having that something in sight to reach for will keep you going. Buy a calender and count down the days til the end of school because that last day is your ticket out of there and into a new start. KEEP GOING. I believe in you and you can do it. Don't let anyone stop you from reaching your dreams so when these people are saying nasty things to you and you just want it to end... please don't give up. Your going to be at an amazing place in your life one day so keep going <3

I can sit here now and write to you all that things will get better cause I am at that other side of the horizon now and you might not me. But was I once you, and I know how hard and emotionally draining and exhausting it can be.
I promise you though, life is one big rollercoaster, a big journey that has many up's and down's but them down's will eventually bring you to up's. It is never going to be one smooth sailing journey. That's life. But when you can overcome one journey you can fight the next.

I am at a stage in my life now where I've been bullied at school, I had an awful time at college...I thought that was going to be my escape but it wasn't to be. I got beat up. I had no friends again. My mum got diagnosed with cancer. I moved to northampton to study journalism at university. I dropped out of uni ,got myself in 3 grands with no way being able to pay it. I know how it is to through some awful times.

 But now I find myself in such a good place that I realise things do get better.
I now am at university studying to become a teacher, I have an amazing boyfriend, a couple of great friends and a family that do a lot for me :-)

1 comment

NatashaJanesWorld said...

This was a really inspiring post! I went through the same thing, school was by no means ' the best time of my life'. I know it sounds silly but now im out of school i feel so much more free and havnt got to worry constantly anymore! Im glad things are going good for you now! :) x

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